It is time to admit something...I am raising a strong-willed daughter. Big surprise, I know -
not! It has been pretty evident that she is strong-willed since her feeding tube days
(I attribute the tube to some of this stubborness. You don't go for months with having someone force something down your nose without becoming more than a little strong-willed). It is time to put that in writing though, as I try to keep this blog as honest as possible
(I hate those 'our child is perfect and never does a thing wrong' blogs. How is anyone supposed to learn from those? I hope people can learn from our experiences. **Spoken like a true teacher**) I'm not saying that is a bad thing, nor is it a good thing. It can be both, and it is up to us to raise her to use it in the 'right' way.
Here are some examples of Sophie's strong-willed nature:
- Her favorite phrase of the month: "I not!" Runner-up is "I won't!"
- Sometimes she is nicer about not doing things and will say, "No thank you, Mommy" or "No thank you, Daddy."
- She loves to grab our pointer fingers and lead us around. This is usually paired with a "Come on, Mommy" or "Come on, Daddy."
- If we ask her to stop doing something, we will often get 'the stare' from her. This is usually paired with her throwing something down on the ground.
- Sophie wants to do a lot of things on her own now. If you try to help and she doesn't want it, watch out. A fit is probably around the corner.
Another prime example of Sophie's strong-willed nature tricked me a little. I didn't take it as her being strong willed at first. Instead, for a good few days there at the beginning of this month, I thought Sophie had been molested. Seriously. She screamed, wailed, kicked, said 'ow!' and 'no no no!' everytime we tried to change her diaper. She also stopped wanting to go on the potty
(she was going multiple times a day before this all happened) and began freaking out at bath time. Her sleeping at night went downhill, too. I was getting really scared and nervous. There are only so many times that you can have these reactions before your mind goes down the worst possible route. I racked my head for any other reaction. There had been no changes to her routine, diapers
(besides size - she is in size 3s now!), shampoo/body wash, or anything else. No diaper rash or infections. Nothing. I racked my brain and went through a bunch of scenarios with Joe but we couldn't figure anything out. Molestation seemed really far fetched, too. The only people who change her diapers are me, Joe, her baby sitter, Joe's mom and my mom. After her fits started, I thought back to where she might have been or who she might have been around. No one out of the ordinary. No one new changed her diapers. I was getting so upset. I finally called the doctor's office for advice. The nurse was very nice and asked all the questions I had been asking myself. Then she asked a doctor for her advice. The doctor believes that it related to potty training. She said that this can be a normal reaction to kids who are being pressured to use the restroom or who are being made fun of and called a baby for using diapers still; it is a control thing. So her suggestion was to stop potty training immediately. Now we haven't really pushed Sophie with the potty. We would ask her twice a day and she would always happily comply, or would say no and that was that. Some days she would even tell us that she wanted to go to the potty. When she stopped wanting to go on the potty, we didn't pressure her. We have certainly never made fun of her or called her a baby for still using diapers. She is 2 for goodness sake! I couldn't help but roll my eyes at what the doctor said
(it is the doctor I hate, so there you go). Still, it was the only thing I had to go on and it was a much better thought than where my mind went. So, we have stopped potty training. We still have some diaper changes where she freaks out, but she doesn't say it hurts anymore and it is pretty easy to distract her from them. Her sleeping has gone back to normal and so have baths. Thank goodness! Maybe it was just a control issue after all. Whatever the cause, I am glad it is over now.
Starting after her birthday, I tried taking away Sophie's pacifier and blanket during the day. She could only have it at nap time and when she laid down for the night, but no other time. I really want to break her of the pacifier habit now that she is 2. After the freakouts she was having earlier this month, I decided to back off and let her have them whenever again. If the freak-outs were a control thing, then this is a battle that is really not worth it. She is still young. We can try again in a month or two.
For every ounce of 'rascal' that Sophie has in her, she has just about double the amount of sweetness.
- When she goes for walks around the downstairs level of our house, she will tell us good-bye, wave, and blow us kisses. Often she will add a 'love you!' in there, too.
- When I spit out my toothpaste in the morning, she always asks if I am okay because she remembers that I've dry heaved there a few times during my pregnancy. She also asks if I am okay when I am crying (ah, pregnancy hormones).
- She is polite. Please, thank you, you're welcome often come out of her mouth without prompting.
- She will randomly give my belly kisses.
- When she wants to be held, she wraps her arms around me and puts her head on my shoulder.
- When we sneeze or cough she tells us 'bless you.' When she does it and we tell her 'bless you,' she thanks us.
- When we picked out a small pumpkin at the pumpkin patch, we had her pick out one for Josie, too. She picked out a little tiny one and didn't want to let it go. She kept saying, "It Josie!"
- She loves her cousins and her friends at the baby sitters' house. She asks about them all of the time and gets excited when she know she is going to see them.
- She tells us that she loves us. Everytime she does it, it melts my heart.
- Her favorite book is a Little Blessings one called Thank You God, Amen. She loves to 'read' it to us. Usually we get things like, "Thank you God, balloons. Aaaaa-men." It is so funny and sweet to listen to.
Sophie can be a challenging kid, but I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. She has always been my small but mighty girl; little with a big personality. I can't wait to see what next month brings!
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| 'Little Momma' and her two kids |
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| Giving her baby cousin a hug and kiss |
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| Enjoying a smoothie |
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| She only wanted to take a bath in her 'baby suit' |
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| Enjoying a day at the zoo in her costume. |
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| She wanted to eat every treat at the treat stations right away. She loved this cookie. |
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| Sophie loved riding the rhino. She would even take one arm off at a time and wave it in the air. |
