Vacation Begins!

Today has officially started vacation for Sophie and me! I still have sporadic meetings, but school is over! I have been dreaming about this day for a long time. I am glad that it is finally here!

This summer is going to be very different from last summer. Last summer I was afraid to take Sophie outside for long. It was hot and she still wasn't drinking well during the day. I was so afraid that she was going to dehydrate! So instead of doing fun activities like going to the zoo, the park or walks in the stroller, we mostly stayed inside a house or did quick 20 minute outdoor visits.  (A little crazy and overprotective, I know, but it was a very valid concern for a mother of a child who only drank about 14- 16 oz a day and didn't eat much table food.) I promised myself (and Sophie) that this summer would be much more fun and entertaining.

Today on our first outing, Sophie and I went to the zoo. She enjoyed it just as much as she did the last time. We went to see all of the cats first and it thrilled her to no end. We probably could have stayed there all day and she would have been happy. We saw the monkeys next, which also excited Sophie. Later on we met up with a co-worker of mine and her family. After a few hours of walking around, we decided to go home. Sophie fell asleep right away.

I think that Sophie had a great time today. I know that I did!

Beth shared her Cheetos with Sophie. I'm pretty sure that she ate half of the bag. 

I kept making the poor kid pose for pictures.

So in the background of this picture are my sister and brother-in-law.  I had no idea that they were at the zoo until I was going through all of my pictures! They were entering the zoo as we were leaving. 

The flowers were so pretty. I just couldn't help taking a bunch of pictures of Sophie with them. 

Fourteen

Tooth number 14 has pushed through finally! This one is her upper left canine. Her lower left canine is almost here, too. My poor girl has been in some pain, especially at night. Still, she only wakes up once or twice and then quickly goes back to sleep. Thank goodness for that!
I hope the rest of her canines come in quickly (and as pain-free as possible!)

It Starts...

I've been tired for two weeks straight and last week I was super emotional. I took a pregnancy test a week ago, but it was negative. Still, I was so tired and really I took the test 4 days before my period was due so it could have been wrong. Despite my previous negative test, I was so sure that I was pregnant. Two weeks ago I announced this to Joe and I have believed it ever since. I took another one three days after the first one I took. Negative. I couldn't believe it! I was having symptoms of pregnancy (excessively tired, emotional, a little queasy, constant urge to pee, 'dog nose', and my old 'pregnancy mask' on my cheeks was brightening), so why was my test showing up negative? I realized that I would have to accept that I wasn't pregnant. Sad. Those pregnancy symptoms stuck around though.

Today, I couldn't shake how tired I was. I was so grateful when Sophie laid down for a nap. She and I both ended up sleeping for 2 hours. It was heavenly. After I woke up though, I started to worry that something was really wrong with me. If I wasn't pregnant then why didn't I have any energy? It just didn't make sense. I decided to try one more pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn't pregnant. If it came back negative, I was going to schedule a doctor's appointment. So for the third time in a week, I took a pregnancy test (Yeah, yeah...3 times is excessive). This time though, it announced that I was in fact PREGNANT! I was right all along!

I couldn't wait to tell Joe. I went downstairs and saw that he and Sophie were playing with a small family photo album I made for her. It had pictures of all her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Seeing it made me smile, because it gave me the perfect opening to tell them that I am pregnant. I mentioned to him that there was one free page in there for us to put a picture of our newest nephew, who was born yesterday, in there. He agreed. Then I said that we would need to free up another space for Sophie's brother or sister. Joe just smiled at me, not quite understanding. That smile grew even bigger though when I held up the positive pregnancy test. Sophie was excited, too, but only because she thought the stick was a toy to play with. Um, no...gross.

I am so excited about this baby, but nervous as well. Sophie had a two-vessel umbilical cord and ended up being IUGR, which led to a bunch of issues. In January, I became pregnant with baby number two. After bleeding for 2 weeks, I had a miscarriage at the end of January. They say that the third time's a charm though. I hope that is true. I don't think that I could emotionally handle another miscarriage. Still, this pregnancy is already starting out different than my second one. With my second pregnancy, I was spotting right away and I just knew in my gut that I wouldn't get to meet that baby. Right now my gut is telling me that this baby will make it. (It is also saying that I will have another daughter, so we'll have to see about that one.)

Thank you, Lord, for giving me another baby. I promise that I will love him or her with all of my heart and be the best mom that I can. Little baby, I can't wait to meet you!

My predictions: 
Gender - girl
Birthday - January 30, 2013
Weight - 6 lb 8 oz
Length - 19.5 inches
Lots of hair

I Can Still Remember...

Sophie is no longer the baby of the family anymore. Today we welcomed baby Joshua! Joe and I couldn't wait to meet him, so this evening we took Sophie with us to the hospital. We each took turns sitting in the waiting room with Sophie so that the other person could meet Joshua. He is healthy and just perfect! I'm pretty sure I could have snuggled him all day long if given the chance. It only took one look to fall in love. He is simply adorable.

Kathy and Joshua 

It was strange being in that hospital, all three of us, again. This is the hospital where Sophie was born and spent her first eight days of life. Our little family goes to the hospital often for specialist appointments, but we always go to Children's Hospital and not the one where Sophie was born. Sophie and I went back to this hospital a few times when I was still on maternity leave so that she could be weighed, but Joe was never with us. It felt a little surreal walking with Sophie down the halls that Joe and I used to speed through so we could visit her when she was in the Special Care Nursery. Everything is different there now (the floor was under construction when I had Sophie), but it still brought memories flooding back. The strongest memory came to me as we were leaving. Joe was holding Sophie and he was in the same spot where I had him pose with Sophie in her car seat the day we finally got to take her home from the hospital. It was a little overwhelming. Of course, I made them pose for another picture. She isn't in her car seat this time, but it is amazing how much of a difference 21 months makes!

I am so glad that baby Joshua is here and healthy, and that my Sophie is healthy, too. God is really looking over our family.

21 Months

Man, time flies! Each month seems to go by more quickly than the one before. Sophie will be 2 years old  in the blink of an eye!

I am so glad that the school year is almost out. It is almost painful for me to leave her in the mornings, just like it was when I first started back to work after she was born. I linger at our house or the baby sitter's house (and I am late to school/barely making it on time) because I don't want to leave her. Pathetic, but I just miss my daughter. Luckily we will have the whole summer together. I can't wait!

How could you not want to spend all day with this girl?

Here are some random things from this month:

• This past month has seemed to be the month of bumps, bruises and 'owies.' I suppose that is what happens when kids grow up and become more active. That and my child is a self-proclaimed monkey; she enjoys climbing up on things and announcing, "I monkey!" Still, I hate to see Sophie in pain. At least I can 'kiss it better' for her and cheer her up.             

•  It seems like Sophie gains a dozen new words and phrases a day. Obviously I am exaggerating here, but she is constantly saying something new that leaves Joe and me in awe. I have no idea how many words she is up to now. Last month it was 110, so my guess for this month would be 150 (or more). I have given up trying to record all of her words. Sophie has become very good at mimicking words, even the more difficult ones. It impresses me and scares me - that means I really have to watch what I say now.  

(Sophie saying "Oh Tooooddles" while watching the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse...and then falling down!)

(Saying my name.)

• Sophie has 13 teeth now. There are 3 more that are so close to bursting through her gums. They have really been bothering her this past week, so hopefully they will break through soon.
• Sophie has been working on trying to dress herself. This doesn't go well at all, of course, but she keeps trying. Often she tries to put her legs through the arm holes of her shirt. She has been able to put shorts on and pull them half of the way up, as well as put a shirt on once or twice. It is fun watching her become more independent.
• Sophie's favorite thing to do is still coloring. She would color all day long if we let her. A new favorite for her is bubbles. She loves popping them and trying to blow them herself. She has actually been able to blow a few from the wand on her own. For the most part though, she sticks the wand on her mouth   or in her mouth (ick!). 

Do you see the bubble?

Sophie loves her sidewalk chalk!

• Last month we went to see a geneticist. In an IUGR group on Facebook, a lot of parents mentioned having micro array genetic testing done on their child to test for any anomalies. Many of them noted that random deletions on this chromosome or that were found, which explained their small size. After talking to the pediatrician and the GI, we decided this was something we wanted to try out (especially since her endoscopy last year didn't work). When we went to see the geneticist, he noted three things that were 'different' with Sophie. One thing was her almost non-existent baby toenail (not a big deal). Another was a flatter upper lip (whatever that means...it is pretty much shaped like mine, so I didn't see any issues there). The last was that her left pinky finger only has one crease to it instead of two. She has all of the bones in the finger, which surprised him. I see two creases when I look at it, so I have no idea what he is talking about. Then again, this is what he does for a living, so I'll trust in him. He mentioned that he thought she could have two possible syndromes and said he did want to have the micro array testing done. This month we received results back from the testing. She is absolutely fine! Now granted, this test won't catch every minor anomaly, but it does look for the major ones. It was a relief to hear, though that still doesn't give us a real reason as to why she is so small. Regardless, I now feel that we have done what we can (above and beyond, even) and now we can give it a rest. She is going to be small, and that is that. Doctors and others are going to have to let it go, because we sure have. 

Sure her pinky is a little bent, but I see nothing wrong with this adorable digit. 

• I have no idea about Sophie's current weight, since the GI and pediatrician's scales seem to be different. She is healthy though, so that is all I care about. (I posted her growth charts a few posts back though if you are interested in seeing her progress over the past year.)
• Along with the other sounds that I mentioned last month, Sophie also knows that a duck quacks and a  monkey goes 'hoo hoo hoo' (which she often will scratch under her arms while making the sound). Also, in addition to the body parts I mentioned last month, Sophie can identify her knees and elbows.
• Sophie loves looking at pictures. Each day, she goes over to the side of our fridge, where I have family pictures, and shouts, "Reese! Reese!" We have to pick her up so that she can point to her cousin, Reese, along with everyone else up there. She does a great job pointing out who everyone is, especially those who she doesn't see that often. In the car, one of the only things that will make Sophie chill out and not scream is a photo album of her from when she was first born. She especially loves looking at the pictures of her Paw Paw. I'm going to have to print a bunch of new pictures out and tape them to the back of the seat so that she can always see them; they are life savers on car rides! 
• Sophie loves playing with her fabric storage cubes. She enjoys dumping everything out of them, filling them back up, playing peek-a-boo with them and climbing into them (she calls it her house when she does this). I am pretty darn sure this kid is going to be a class clown. She is such a goof!

Click the link below for some more pictures from this month:

Pudding!

Reading with 'Kiki'

Sophie loves when she can spend time with any of her cousins

Do you remember this doll? This is the one that Sophie had her picture taken next to each month.  It is hard to believe that they used to be the same size!

She loves this! Her favorite thing to do is to play the ABC song and dance around. 

Putting on Daddy's shoe

Sophie really likes her sensory box. I made the mistake of letting her feel the beans with her toes. She must have liked how it felt, because she climbed into the box and didn't want to get out!

Sophie and Cosmo

When Sophie is finished being sweet to you, she will let you know.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! I am so honored to be Sophie's Momma. Being a mother is simply wonderful.

Sophie was such a stinker to me yesterday. (We discovered today that she has two new teeth that are trying to burst through her gums, so that (hopefully) is why she was awful towards me yesterday.) I was afraid that my Mother's Day was going to be pretty bad. Luckily for me, Sophie was in a much better mood today and more than made up for yesterday's behavior. We had a lot of giggles, snuggles, and fun today. I love seeing that girl smile. She makes me so happy. Even on days when she isn't being so good for me (like yesterday), I still can't help but talk about her and feel like one of the luckiest people in the world. She is my everything.

While Sophie makes me so very happy, I must be honest and say that Mother's Day is a little bittersweet for me this year. I should be celebrating with two babies instead of just one. You see in January I was pregnant. At the end of January I lost my baby. I should be hugging Sophie while I feel her younger brother or sister (we would know which by now) kicking around in my womb. Life had other plans though... I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't acknowledge my other baby today. Not many know about him/her. Miscarriage is such a taboo subject and it is just hard to talk about (and to hear someone talk about). Still, that was my baby, regardless of how short of a time we were together. I know one day we will be together again and I am grateful for that.

Enough sad stuff...it is picture time.

Our first picture together. I was so happy to finally hold her in my arms!

Our 1st Mother's Day together

Me and my silly girl (awful picture of us both, but it is the most recent one that I have. Plus, it makes me smile)

Sporting some Mommy love for Mother's Day today.

One of the flowers I received today

I really am so blessed to have Sophie in my life. She is my whole world. I love my little girl! Thank you, Sophie, for letting me be your Momma!

...Down Will Come Baby....

This morning Sophie woke me up by calling for her "Daddy!" Joe had already left for work, so I ignored this, hit the snooze on my alarm, and tried to go back to sleep. (great parenting, I know.) Sophie was quiet for a few minutes, but then I heard more calls for "Daddy!" I contemplated getting up, but I was still a bit groggy, so instead I laid there waiting to see if she would call out again. She didn't. Instead of a call for her Daddy, I heard a huge THUD! That sure work me up! I was out of my bed and into her room in under 2 seconds! There was my child, standing on the floor and crying her eyes out! She had climbed/fallen out of bed (what a monkey!). I was scared to death! I looked at her and didn't see anything too worrisome - no broken bones or blood. I took the fact that she was standing up to be a good sign. I asked her where she was hurt, and she held out her finger. This happened to be the one that Joe accidentally smashed in a door last week, so I didn't have to worry about that. No other body parts seemed to cause her any trouble, so I was able to calm down myself. After a few minutes of crying, Sophie became distracted by the books on her floor and happily went over to 'read' them. She seemed fine after that.

I am so glad that she wasn't hurt badly. Joe lowered her crib (to the lowest setting) as soon as he came home, and I took the bumpers off of the side. After we finished making our improvements, I put Sophie in the crib. Being the great parent that I am, I challenged her to try to climb out. She couldn't, though she was trying to scale the sides. Hmmmm....I might have to turn the crib around so that the lower side is up against the wall.

Hopefully tomorrow morning I will wake up without any scary surprises.

Trying to escape, but not having any luck this time. (Check out the determined look on her face.)

"I give up. Now get me out!"